Stop Google-stalking and deal with your Cyberchondria!

The Internet has given life to many new gadgets and habits, which inevitably leads to a quirky range of modern addictions and maladies. The British weekly New Scientist lists these:

• Ego-surfing: When you frequently check your name and reputation on the internet.
• Blog streaking: "Revealing secrets or personal information online which for everybody's sake would be best kept private."
• Crackberry: "The curse of the modern executive: not being able to stop checking your BlackBerry, even at your grandmother's funeral." (
• Google-stalking: Defined as "snooping online on old friends, colleagues or first dates".
• Cyberchondria: "A headache and a particular rash at the same time? Extensive online research tells you it must be cancer."
• Photolurking: Flicking through a photo album of someone you've never met.
• Wikipediholism: Excess devotion to contributing to the online collaborative encyclopaedia, Wikipedia. (Wikipedia even has a page where you can test whether you're an addict: Test).
• Cheesepodding: Downloading of a song "so cheesy that you could cover it in plastic wrap and sell it at the deli counter." Cheesepodders are especially vulnerable to soft-rock favourites from the 1970s.

Last-Minute Help for Those (Mostly Male) Holiday Shopping Slackers

IF women have any doubts that their men truly love them, this won’t help. According to at least one poll last week, nearly half of all men in relationships had yet to buy gifts for their spouses.

But forces of the corporate world are set to bail out shopping slackers yet again, only you wouldn’t know how unless you somehow noticed that delivery trucks were making fewer left-hand turns than ever.

Spurred by the growth of e-commerce, shippers like U.P.S. and others are shaving precious minutes from their delivery times by arranging shipping routes to avoid left-hand turns, among many other things. Online retailers, meanwhile, have tweaked their own product handling systems, thanks to improved technology and lessons sometimes painfully learned in years past.

The result is that many online merchants this year will still sell goods with standard shipping terms through Monday, Dec. 18, or Tuesday, Dec. 19, thereby lending a hand to late holiday shoppers and, e-commerce executives hope, stealing more sales from offline merchants.

Read more

Christmas Shopping and How to Survive It

A day off work has been booked, or a babysitter found for the children, and you have set your date for Christmas shopping. As you prepare yourself, you make a mental map of the shops you will visit and the best place to park the car. Humming your favorite carol you set out on your venture. Then the Christmas imps call in the gremlins and you are faced with...

The 12 Laws of Christmas Shopping

1. It's in the catalogue but not in the store and the alternative is much more expensive.
2. Every colour and every size but the one you want is in stock.
3. Your parcels are always twice as heavy and bulky than you expected.
4. There is always a senior citizen ahead of you in the queue who who is paying with a combination of gift vouchers and two-pence pieces.
5. Aforementioned senior citizen will always moan that Christmas isn't what it used to be.
6. The toddler in the pushchair behind you will throw its bottle and catch you just behind your knees.
7. There will always be a small child spreadeagled on the floor in exhaustion or mid-tantrum.
8. There is always one relative you forget, which means you have to rush out on Christmas Eve to grab something for them from the 24-hour garage.
9. One or more of your family or friends will have completed their shopping and wrapped their presents by the end of October.
10. At least one store will be playing 'I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday' and all the others will be playing 'Merry Christmas Everybody'.
11. You spend hours searching for just the right present for the person who rings you up two days before Christmas and says 'just make it a bottle this year, we're cutting back.'
12. Your partner will always say 'what or who have you bought that for?'

Survival Tips
These are not laws of nature and can, with a little ingenuity, be overcome.

• Shop earlier and by mail-order or online if necessary. Before you order, make sure you can be available to accept the delivery or that you have a friendly neighbour willing to do this for you. A trip to collect your parcel may be more traumatic than visiting the shop!

• Risk your street credibility and borrow your granny's tartan shopping trolley or look into the possibility of having your purchases delivered (see above). A lot of stores offer a 'carry to your car' service that can be invaluable - especially in the UK if it's combined with a 'lend an umbrella' scheme as well.

• Pick presents from stores very unlikely to be frequented by senior citizens and mothers of young children, such as Anne Summers, Games Workshop and your local Goth record shop. You could also time your trip for the day before pensions and family credit are payable. Shopping in the evening may be helpful; but beware the hordes of bored husbands trailing after their wives and clogging up all the decent bars.

• Make a list! If you do forget someone and have to visit the petrol station, don't just pick chocolate or bedraggled flowers. Grab a gift-bag and fill it with little sachets of windscreen wash and dashboard wipes, chewing gum and/or mints, air fresheners, a pen and notepad and a couple of coins for parking meters. For the non-motorist, why not try a gift-bag filled with paper hankies, menthol chewing gum, cold and flu remedy and cough sweets or hangover cures, earplugs and a sleep mask?

• Just smile sweetly at your super-efficient friend or relative and say, 'but you will have missed all the three-for-the-price-of-two offers, and the sales didn't start until November'.

• Earplugs are available from any high street chemist as a defence against random Slade and Wizzard songs.

• Keep the present you bought for the cheapskate and pay a visit to the local off-licence. Buy a bottle of the cheapest, roughest wine you can find (it serves them right).

• When your partner starts to criticise, throw yourself to the floor, spreadeagled, drum your feet against the nearest piece of furniture and scream 'that's it, next year you can do the shopping!!

Courtesy of BBC

A gift to myself this Christmas

This Christmas, I'm giving myself the gift of letting go...

LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.
Remember: The time to love is short.
- Anonymous

Never eat alone again! A DVD for the sad and lonely...

Sad? Lonely? No friends? No presents under the Christmas tree?

If for what ever reason you are going to be alone this Xmas, a Dutch art company has come up with a solution for you. Tilburgs CowBoys and Theater NWE Vorst have produced a DVD for lonely people with dining companions that eat, drink and strike up conversations.

You have a choice of 6 different dinner dates which can offer you according to the company, “a romantic evening or even a good discussion.”

TV dinner will never be the same again.

Source: Cherryflava Via Via

Types of nightclub people

I came across this blog, written by a South African girl. Although it's a different country, it seems that the basics are pretty much the same (as far as I can remember going clubbing, in any case!)

See if you recognize...

Types of nightclub people

The Sneaker Outers:
They evacuate the building alone or with someone without informing the rest of the group. The group, only realising much later due to crowds and alcohol suddenly go: “Say…where the fuck is Chris?”

The Smash It In Your Facers:
There are two categories of Smash It In Your Facers. The boozers, as in “I’m off to down ten Jaegermeisters,” and then does it. And the other category are those that lunge or end up snogging something in a dark corner all evening. Or graunch more than one thing in the evening. Both categories usually merge – one doesn’t work without the other, type of thing.

The Saturday Night Fevers:
Alcohol makes them think they can dance. They also mostly think they dance as well as a black person, but they don’t. They do the Macarena, or the Electric Slide, The Running Man or The Fandango across the dancefloor, or like I’ve seen at the Colony Arms: break dance. Badly. You can tell who has the potential to be a Saturday Night Fever: they have no co-ords, they always scream “This is my song!” and rush off to wow the crowds in the centre of a circle. I’m one of these.

The Sentimentalists:
“I love you. You’re my best friend. You are going to be the godmother to my children.” They hug their friends (and anyone else passing by usually) compulsively, and often this ritual ends with tears, hugs and more “You’re just my best friend ever.”

The Ace Targets:
The one’s who stomp up to you and demand “Did you just throw me with a piece of ice? And then try to punch anything in sight.

The Fightey Couples:
They argue about something they don’t remember about the next day. Like innocent flirting, or she flashed her tits, or he didn’t remember her mother’s second name.

The Lovey Dovey Face Suckers:
couples that might as well not go clubbing, because they’re attached to each other and are getting stuck in as though nobody else is actually there.

The Let’s Do Something Cray-zeeeeee’s:
Drive their cars into the bushes after exiting the club because they thought it would be funny, take all their clothes off and streak in public, steal road signs and traffic cones, take more than one person home at once, or try to climb out of windows when the door is open.

The Please Take Me Home’s:
Your mate isn’t having as swell a time as you, or vice versa. She’s seen her ex boyfriend and is whining in your ear about it. Or you’ve seen your ex boyfriend snog something and all you want to do is go home and wail about into your pillow. Or everyone else is pissed and you’re not. Waiting to be taken home is as shitty as having a mate want you to take her home when you’re dancing on the ceiling.

The Messy’s:
They vomit on the bar counter, drool beer all over themselves, their faces drop and they can’t talk, they’ve passed out under a speaker cradling a bottle of cane, or they’re throwing their name all over the place – but not in a funny way.

The No But Of Course I Can Drivers:
They’re so pissed, they leopard crawl to their cars and still insist they can drive even though they can’t find the keyhole.
Usually an argument ensues, where someone tries to get hold of their keys, or a “fine, fuck up your life and kill someone.” Followed by “Fuck off, I’m perfectly fine for godsh shake. I only had shix drinksh.”
Usually a sharp slap or another drink to make them pass out sorts out the problem.

The Nap Overers:
You only know once you get the phone call the next day.
“Shit fuck shit. I slept over at Clifford’s place. Again.”
Or “Do you remember the name of the guy sleeping next to me?”
Or “How do I get out of here without waking him up?”
Or “I met the most incredible oke last night, fuck I wonder if he’s going to phone me? Do you think he will? Why hasn’t he phoned me yet?”
Or “I got laid. It was good. A much needed, necessary shtoinking. But moving on.”

The scary thing is we’ve all been those things at one time or another. Or in many circumstances, all of the above on one night.

I know I have.

Source: Mushy Peas on Toast

Beat the Christmas poverty - one slot at a time!

‘Tis the season to spend, spend, spend. So I’ve decided to up my game in the online slots stakes and start making some real money. I’m not that naïve to think that I could manipulate Lady Luck, but there are ways to increase your chances of winning – even in a game of chance.

John G Brokonn has some great advice for tipping the scale in your favor…

“In spite of the fact that there is no strategy for winning at slots, it shouldn't deter gamblers from becoming the smartest and most well-informed slot players they can possibly be.

It doesn't make sense to sit in front of a machine, slip your hard-earned money in the bill acceptor and start playing when you really aren't aware of what it's costing you to play.

There's a lot more to playing slots than gambling your money and hoping for a jackpot. Becoming aware of the economics of slot play and the power of the house advantage is crucial to a complete understanding of exactly what you're up against.
For example, penny and nickel games are often the choice of thrifty gamblers on a budget. In reality, the differences in theoretical cost among the various denominations illustrate that low-denomination games are no bargains.

Allow me to explain:
If the average "hold" (casino win) on the one-cent slot machines in place on any given casino floor is 10.55 percent, this means that 10.55 cents of every dollar played on the machines is retained by the owner as revenue while 89.45 cents of every dollar played is returned to gamblers as a collective group in the form of winnings.

If you sat down at one of the machines and wagered $1.50 per spin (a conservative figure in light of the max coin capabilities of many of the penny games) and initiated one play every five seconds, in one hour you will have made 720 plays and invested $1,080. Regardless of whether you won or lost, the theoretical cost to you for that session was $113.94.

You may have hit the jackpot and won hundreds of dollars, or you may have lost your shirt, but the indisputable economic fact is that based upon that penny machine's average hold the playing session cost you $113.94.

What about nickel machines? Let's say you bet $1.35 (another conservative example) on every play and you make one play every five seconds. After an hour you will have gambled $972. Based on an average hold of 10.67 percent, your play (theoretically) will have cost you $103.71.

Again, this is theoretical when applied to any one individual during any given window of playing time. In practicality, you could win, you could lose or could break even. But for players as a collective group, that's what it costs to play.
Now assume you were playing a twenty-five cent machine with the average hold set at 6.50 percent. Making a play every five seconds on a three-coin game (75 cents) means you'll gamble $540 in an hour with the theoretical cost to you standing at $35.10.
You can conclude from the above scenarios that playing penny and nickel slots can prove much more costly than playing quarter games. You're betting half as much on quarters per hour as you do on pennies and subjecting yourself to more than two-thirds less in average hold.

If you opt for a two-coin dollar slot and wager $2 a spin every five seconds, you will have churned $1,440 through the machine in an hour. With the average hold standing at 5.30 percent, it would have cost you $76.32.

Or going the high roller route, how about a $5 machine? Betting five bucks a spin every five seconds for an hour costs $3,600. An average hold of 3.82 percent boils down to a cost of $137.52.

It's easy to see that the size of your bankroll ultimately dictates the machine denomination you select, but it's wise to always be aware of the house advantage and the fact that every single slot machine is a computer-driven gaming device guaranteed to win money for its owner.”

Source: CasinoCityTimes

Stay connected: Best cell phones for children

Marketing spoof or not – I believe in the “peace of mind” kiddies cell phones give parents around the world.

I believe any child should be able to contact his/her parents should he/she feel threatened, lonely, sad, happy, miserable or just to say hi. Or in extreme cases where he/she faces real danger like kidnapping, assault or rape.

And not to forget the benefit of being able to track where your child is through the cell phone. Although B is still a bit too young for a phone, I might just put one in her Christmas stocking next year.

Here’s four kid-friendly phones – tried and tested.

Verizon Migo (with optional Chaperon service)
Designed for kids between the ages of 5 and 9, it has five speed-dial buttons on the front (one is designated for emergency calls) that you can program via the Internet or on the handset.

When a child pushes one of the buttons a question pops up on the screen – for instance, “call home?” or “calls dad’s cell?” If that’s right, they push send and the call is made.

Parents can track the phone in real time on their handset or PC. For an additional charge, parents can set up boundaries for where the child can go. If the phone leaves the designated area, a text message alert will be sent to the parent’s phone. It also has parental controls that limit outgoing and incoming calls and how many minutes can be used.

The Migo phone is $49.99 with a two-year service contract. The Chaperone service, which lets you locate the Migo phone via handset or PC, must be activated by a Family Share account, which is $9.99 per month. Chaperone with Child Zone, which allows you to locate your family member’s phone and get alerts when they enter or exit a specific area costs $19.99 a month.

Disney Mobil
This LG flip phone targets an older market, kids age 11 to 15. It has lots of bells and whistles, including a color screen, camcorder, and camera with flash. Kids can download games, customize ring tones and display screens. The exterior display shows the time and caller ID. It even has voice-dialing.

There are “Family Alerts,” text messages that were already pre-programmed into the handset. So with the push of two buttons, kids can send a message saying “I’m running late” or “Ill be home soon.”

Parental controls let you restrict the numbers the phone can dial and receive. You can also limit the hours of the day and days of the week the phone can be used.
With the Family Monitor feature, you can set a monthly allowance for voice minutes, text and picture messages, and downloadable content. When the limit is reached, both you and your kid are alerted. Then you can decide what, if anything, to do.

Like the Migo, the Disney phone uses GPS technology to let mom or dad locate their kid’s phone online or on their handset whenever they want.

Disney Mobil phones are available at retailers across the country or online at http://disneymobile.go.com/disneymobile/home.do . The Red Disney Mobile Phone (DM-L-200) is $49.99 with a two-year contract. The Silver model (DM-P205) is $99.95 with two-year contract. Various plans are available, including a Kid Starter Plan with 200 minutes for $24.99 that does not include nights and weekends.

TICTALK by Enforma
Designed for kids age 6 and up, TicTalk comes loaded with five educational games from LeapFrog, including Hangman, Math Defender and Monkey Math.
The TicTalk doesn’t have buttons. It uses a rocker switch instead. You scroll through the numbers in the phonebook and push in to dial. Some kids found it very easy to use. Others had a hard time getting the hang of it.

Parents go online to add or delete numbers and to adjust parental controls. You can decide which calls are allowed through and what times of day you don’t want the phone to ring.

The TicTalk is $99 and available online at http://www.mytictalk.com/LeapFrog/ . It uses pre-paid phone cards. There is no activation fee. Coverage is limited.

Cingular Firefly
The Firefly is the most simplistic of the bunch, designed for very young children. There are two programmable buttons on the front. One has a picture of a man; the other has a picture of a woman.

There’s also a phone book that can hold up to 20 additional numbers. Parents can set the phone to reject any incoming calls from numbers that are not in the phone book. And since there’s no keypad, there’s no worry about outgoing calls.

When the call comes in, the buttons on the front light up and the phone plays one of 10 ring tones the child selected. They can also chose from various on-screen animations.

This phone cannot be programmed using a computer. You do it on the handset, which isn’t as easy. This phone is all plastic and seems to have a less rugged design than the other phones. All of the parents wondered how well it would hold up.

Source: MSNBC

Post your face all over the world

If you’ve always meant to travel the world someday, but never got round to it, this might be your last chance.

Do the next-best thing: Put your face on a stamp and post it halfway around the world.

That’s right, create your own stamp, lick it, stick it and send it off!

Photostamps allows you to upload a picture of your choosing onto a legal postage stamp.
It’s also a perfect way to 'brand' your company's post, customize a wedding invitation or send a Christmas card!



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