Off To Find My Inner Flirt and other forgotten things
I have to confess, I’ve spent the last week or so manically playing slots. I don’t know if it’s because of all the gambling hoo-ha in the media, and threats of no more online gambling, but I’ve been on that max bet button like white on rice.
I still play at River Belle (my favorite) and I’ve been trying out some new games like Chocolate (which actually caused a chocolate craving and I had to raid B’s sweetie drawer), Moonshine (which is about hillbillies – which I found hysterical) and some old favorites.
After the normal ups and downs, I tore myself away from my pc while I was up quite a bit, so a very enjoyable and successful session, over all.
As I stumbled off to bed, happy in the knowledge that I made some good money, I realized that, as nice as it is, I can’t actually spend my life hiding behind my pc.
Sooo… I decided that it’s time to turn off my PC, get out of my “house clothes” (also referred to as saggy-bum-off-grey-unflattering-as-all-hell sweats) and get out there.
Yes. It’s time to Go On A Date.
So as a mild panic smacks me in the face like a wet fish, I refer back to old tactics.
Research.
I have this strange need to know that other people have gone through the same thing, had the same anxieties, insecurities and mild nausea I experience whenever I think too hard about Going On A Date.
That why I love any article that starts with “10 Rules”, “10 tips” or “10 reasons” etc.
Sometimes I read it to actually get tips, rules or reasons. Sometimes I read it to see how many of them I do, or don’t do. Sometimes I read it to feel better about myself and sometimes I use it to compare myself to other people and (hopefully) come up trumps.
So I was delighted to come across “Dating After Divorce: 10 Tips for the Newly Uncommitted”.
Here goes:
1. Note To Self: Proceed With Caution. Try to balance out time with thrilling new acquaintances/guys with time by yourself, and time with good old friends you can trust.
2. Singleton Girlfriends: Your Greatest Asset. If you don't already have girlfriends who are single or have recently been single for a significant period of time, find them. Single women will be an incredible resource for you both because they are in a similar phase of life and because they know the ropes of the wacky dating world better than you.
3. The Harsh Truth: It's One Big Process of Elimination. An important thing to know is that a guy you meet or go on a date with does not have to ever get in touch with you again. If a guy doesn't call, he's not interested/ he's commitment-phobic/ whatever. Don't fool yourself that he's busy, traveling, and so on.
4. Avoid Inadvertent Stalking. Be careful not to engage in premature couple behavior just because it's what you know best. You don't want to ruin something good by overwhelming the guy and yourself before you even know what's there, and you want to make sure he is as great as you think.
5. To Thine Own Self Be True - Without Over sharing. Whether you view it as "being mysterious" a la The Rules or honoring your own privacy, going slowly on the information front means you are confiding in a guy only once you are ready and he is worthy - an important measure of self-respect.
6. Go With The Gut. You'll usually know by the second or third date whether you're vaguely interested in a guy. If you're dreading a next date, you're not into it.
7. The World Is Your Petri-Dish. Approach the dating scene with an attitude of experimentation and openness. Don't necessarily focus on Mr. Right but on Mr. Right Now.
8. Defy the Checklist and Rediscover Your Type. Many of us think we have a "type." We recommend that you jettison the checklist, get out of your head, and experiment with what really makes you happy (or makes you gag) so that you're living in reality and not on some remote Fantasy Island.
9. Do a 180. One form of defying your checklist is being attracted to or getting involved with guys who are pretty much the opposite of your ex. Human nature being what it is, sometimes we need to swing from one extreme to the other to make progress.
10. Find Your Inner Flirt. Flirting is a state of mind - it's about engaging in a sense of play about human contact and connection. It's about charming someone and letting yourself be charmed, about delighting in someone's vitality and having him delight in yours. It's frothy and joyous, not deep or serious. It's about instant gratification, not long-term goals. The chance to flirt may not last forever, so enjoy the freedom while you can - flirt 'til it hurts.
Source
Sigh…Well I guess I’m off to go find my inner flirt. I think it’s lying somewhere underneath the dirty laundry, unwashed dishes and toys strewn all over the place.
I still play at River Belle (my favorite) and I’ve been trying out some new games like Chocolate (which actually caused a chocolate craving and I had to raid B’s sweetie drawer), Moonshine (which is about hillbillies – which I found hysterical) and some old favorites.
After the normal ups and downs, I tore myself away from my pc while I was up quite a bit, so a very enjoyable and successful session, over all.
As I stumbled off to bed, happy in the knowledge that I made some good money, I realized that, as nice as it is, I can’t actually spend my life hiding behind my pc.
Sooo… I decided that it’s time to turn off my PC, get out of my “house clothes” (also referred to as saggy-bum-off-grey-unflattering-as-all-hell sweats) and get out there.
Yes. It’s time to Go On A Date.
So as a mild panic smacks me in the face like a wet fish, I refer back to old tactics.
Research.
I have this strange need to know that other people have gone through the same thing, had the same anxieties, insecurities and mild nausea I experience whenever I think too hard about Going On A Date.
That why I love any article that starts with “10 Rules”, “10 tips” or “10 reasons” etc.
Sometimes I read it to actually get tips, rules or reasons. Sometimes I read it to see how many of them I do, or don’t do. Sometimes I read it to feel better about myself and sometimes I use it to compare myself to other people and (hopefully) come up trumps.
So I was delighted to come across “Dating After Divorce: 10 Tips for the Newly Uncommitted”.
Here goes:
1. Note To Self: Proceed With Caution. Try to balance out time with thrilling new acquaintances/guys with time by yourself, and time with good old friends you can trust.
2. Singleton Girlfriends: Your Greatest Asset. If you don't already have girlfriends who are single or have recently been single for a significant period of time, find them. Single women will be an incredible resource for you both because they are in a similar phase of life and because they know the ropes of the wacky dating world better than you.
3. The Harsh Truth: It's One Big Process of Elimination. An important thing to know is that a guy you meet or go on a date with does not have to ever get in touch with you again. If a guy doesn't call, he's not interested/ he's commitment-phobic/ whatever. Don't fool yourself that he's busy, traveling, and so on.
4. Avoid Inadvertent Stalking. Be careful not to engage in premature couple behavior just because it's what you know best. You don't want to ruin something good by overwhelming the guy and yourself before you even know what's there, and you want to make sure he is as great as you think.
5. To Thine Own Self Be True - Without Over sharing. Whether you view it as "being mysterious" a la The Rules or honoring your own privacy, going slowly on the information front means you are confiding in a guy only once you are ready and he is worthy - an important measure of self-respect.
6. Go With The Gut. You'll usually know by the second or third date whether you're vaguely interested in a guy. If you're dreading a next date, you're not into it.
7. The World Is Your Petri-Dish. Approach the dating scene with an attitude of experimentation and openness. Don't necessarily focus on Mr. Right but on Mr. Right Now.
8. Defy the Checklist and Rediscover Your Type. Many of us think we have a "type." We recommend that you jettison the checklist, get out of your head, and experiment with what really makes you happy (or makes you gag) so that you're living in reality and not on some remote Fantasy Island.
9. Do a 180. One form of defying your checklist is being attracted to or getting involved with guys who are pretty much the opposite of your ex. Human nature being what it is, sometimes we need to swing from one extreme to the other to make progress.
10. Find Your Inner Flirt. Flirting is a state of mind - it's about engaging in a sense of play about human contact and connection. It's about charming someone and letting yourself be charmed, about delighting in someone's vitality and having him delight in yours. It's frothy and joyous, not deep or serious. It's about instant gratification, not long-term goals. The chance to flirt may not last forever, so enjoy the freedom while you can - flirt 'til it hurts.
Source
Sigh…Well I guess I’m off to go find my inner flirt. I think it’s lying somewhere underneath the dirty laundry, unwashed dishes and toys strewn all over the place.
posted by Lady_Marmalade at 2:26 AM
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