Thanksgiving Sales - Survival Tips
Don’t leave the house without reading these Survival Tips first. Besides being remarkably insightful, it’s damn funny too!
It starts off like this:
“Sure, most of the world is going to be in the same store as you, and yes, you're probably going to bump into at least one person from your past who you've at one point or another slept with. But let us put it into perspective -- and we're talking to the women right now since, for most men, dressing up means wearing the slightly darker jeans and buttoning up that shirt.
Ladies -- imagine giving birth for ten hours while your husband/boyfriend/children stand at your side and say, "Can we go? Are you done yet? Seriously, are you done? Okay, I'm actually serious now, are you done? Do we need that? We don't need that. Don't get that. Seriously, why do you need that? Put that down. Fine, get it, but I don't think we need it. Are you done? Can we go? Seriously. Okay, I'm waiting in the car." Oh, you're also doing this while thousands of people are trying to buy your doctor at 30% off.
And that's kind of like dressing up for Black Friday.
Our advice? Wear sweat pants, wear pajamas, wear slippers if you have to, just don't wear anything that you wouldn't wear to a mosh pit in Mexico.”
Don’t miss out on tips like:
Nr 8: Taking Your Lover Is Like Taking A Walking Argument – Just Don’t.
Nr 4: Kids and Shopping Go Together Like Kids and Opened Bottles Of Hydrochloric Acid – Don’t Take Them.
Nr 2: Bring a Carefully Selected Like-Minded Friend Less Pretty Than You
And finally Nr 1: Stay Home, Get Naked and Buy Online
Read it
It starts off like this:
“Sure, most of the world is going to be in the same store as you, and yes, you're probably going to bump into at least one person from your past who you've at one point or another slept with. But let us put it into perspective -- and we're talking to the women right now since, for most men, dressing up means wearing the slightly darker jeans and buttoning up that shirt.
Ladies -- imagine giving birth for ten hours while your husband/boyfriend/children stand at your side and say, "Can we go? Are you done yet? Seriously, are you done? Okay, I'm actually serious now, are you done? Do we need that? We don't need that. Don't get that. Seriously, why do you need that? Put that down. Fine, get it, but I don't think we need it. Are you done? Can we go? Seriously. Okay, I'm waiting in the car." Oh, you're also doing this while thousands of people are trying to buy your doctor at 30% off.
And that's kind of like dressing up for Black Friday.
Our advice? Wear sweat pants, wear pajamas, wear slippers if you have to, just don't wear anything that you wouldn't wear to a mosh pit in Mexico.”
Don’t miss out on tips like:
Nr 8: Taking Your Lover Is Like Taking A Walking Argument – Just Don’t.
Nr 4: Kids and Shopping Go Together Like Kids and Opened Bottles Of Hydrochloric Acid – Don’t Take Them.
Nr 2: Bring a Carefully Selected Like-Minded Friend Less Pretty Than You
And finally Nr 1: Stay Home, Get Naked and Buy Online
Read it
posted by Lady_Marmalade at 4:14 AM
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